This weekend is Mothers Day. It brings happiness in our home as this year we have a new baby that God has graced us with. This makes baby #3. It has not always been easy for us. Ups, downs, backwards and forwards, we have made it. My wife, Phyllis, has been a wonderful rock. She has been the cornerstone of the family that has kept us together. When all the chips are down, she sees the good in things that I see as bad. She turns me around and lifts me up. She lifts up the kids. She loves them, even though our tween and Phyllis are at odds a lot lately. Give my wife credit though, she stands strong.
The whole damn world could be falling down around us and yet, somehow, Phyllis holds it up on her shoulders, while still holding two kids in each arm and putting up with my crap. No, we don't always meet eye to eye. Yet, tonight I had an epiphany.
One of my favorite shows is Blue Bloods. The end of the show tonight had the whole family sitting around the table. It reminded me of our family. No, we don't have a family the size of theirs. But what we do share is love. For all the bickering, bitching, barking, fighting, complaining, fussing and downright crap, we still love one another.
I am not perfect as a husband, nor father. Yet, I guess what I envy is that my wife is almost perfect as a wife and as a mother. She doesn't let the world bring her down. Sure, she has her moments. But, who the hell doesn't? Nobody!
I think one thing I have also learned is something I haven't told my wife. But, she will read it here, in about 5 hours or so. She fills the void of me not having a mom. As many of you know who read this regularly, I don't have a mom because she died of cancer. What I miss in Rose-my mom-I find in Phyllis. That reassuring ear, a hug when she knows I need it, a smile when I need it, and lots of just letting me be me. Sure, there are things she wishes I would change. Listing them would take too long.....
But, Phyllis really has been a mom to all of us here. So, she kinda has 4 kids. She puts up with my moods, listens to me complain, cheers me up, bandages my boo-boos, loves me without end, appreciates me, accepts me for ALL my faults, and doesn't expect a thing in return. NOTHING, nada, zilch, zero. And a lot of times I have taken advantage of that. But something tonight watching the show made me stop and think about how I can and SHOULD be better. A better best friend to her, a better husband, a better person.
No, she didn't give birth to me. No, she didn't change my diapers, wipe my nose, teach me to do xyz, etc. What she did do though is love me, unconditionally.
Phyllis, you are a great woman, an awesome mom, and a wonderful wife. I love you. Happy Mothers Day!!
WOLFPACK
WOLFPACK PRIDE
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Time
As a SAHD, but I guess hand in hand with that is being a father of 3, is the fact that we try to schedule things around other things so we can attend functions for our oldest at school, church, etc. When they all get older I know we will be juggling MULTIPLE schedules!! Time is an important thing....valuable even.
So, a few weeks ago my daughter came home from school with a project. She had to write a speech and biographical sketch or paper of an important person. Her first choice was rejected by the teacher. Can we say censorship? Yes, rejected. I am not sure of all the details. I just know my daughter wasn't happy. Her next choice was accepted. So, she was settling in on doing her stuff about Mrs. Rosa Parks. Abby read the book and I added some important facts that I had learned through my various readings on the Civil Rights Movement and former Justice Thurgood Marshall. Abby seemed interested.
The speeches were to be last week. Well, as fate has it, the teacher moved them. We had set up dates for our two youngest at the pediatrician based on the first date. Now, the dates were moved to this week. We received a slip from the teacher informing us of this.
Today I picked Abby up in carpool and she got settled and we drove towards home. About 5 mins into the ride or less, she lets me know to be sure to be there at 9:30 in the morning. HUH? When the first date was set, we had an appointment at the doctor for the kids. So, we moved it. Then the second date was set. We moved one of the appointments much further out, the second was tomorrow; speech date. So, then we had decided to move that appointment which was a little after 1 because 23 kids were starting speeches at 11am and each had about 3-5 mins we were told. That meant we were going to be running too close to the appointment time. We moved it again.
Now we were told that the time had moved AGAIN! It was set to be at 11:30 we were told. Now, the day before we were going to drop Abby off at school at 8 and need to be back in an hour and a half. We live 30 mins during rush hour traffic in the am from the school. That is if the beltline and traffic cooperates! So, drop off at 8, back home at 8:30 at the best, load back up at 8:50! Not to mention the extra 24 miles of driving round trip for a 3rd time in a day to the school!!! This time with two kids under 18 months no less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk about one pissed off set of parents. Me more so than my wife. My wife for whatever reasons has a MUCH higher threshold when it comes to dealing with stupid people. Perhaps it is because she is married to me. Whatever the reason, she was a tad upset, but I was pissed. See, routines for little ones are important. I made fun of them with Abby. However, with Katie and Jeb, I have seen how much a routine means to a little one's day. So, now we are faced with two little ones who will need to be there for an hour, both of which have nap times during this time. One who will need to be fed also and another who will want a snack and is NOT too keen on being in a stroller longer than say 10 minutes. That is our toddler Katie. Anxiety should have been her middle name. She has an incessant need to walk. Well, speed walk and inspect all her surroundings. And no doubt, since she also has a shyness factor around strangers, we now have missed nap time + missed snack time + anxiety + a hungry infant + shyness that will all = HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am pissed whether or not it is the teachers fault or not. I haven't got a response as to who thought up this brilliant idea. Whoever waited until the afternoon prior to the speeches to inform parents/guardians of the change in my mind is up for the AS* of the Year award! Schedules are tight for working parents too. To have something planned, at a certain time, and then change it the day before is irresponsible, rude and disrespectful along with unprofessional and non-caring. I know I am only 1 parent. However, this isn't the first time we, nor other parents have had issues with this teacher or the one prior.
Nothing is perfect. But, try to not put 23 sets of parents out. You already made changes to the schedule before. Oh, and we could have kept that Dr's appointment for tomorrow. How lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, the teacher has no kids, no spouse and no clue what life is like for those of us who do. Why should I expect anything else?
So, a few weeks ago my daughter came home from school with a project. She had to write a speech and biographical sketch or paper of an important person. Her first choice was rejected by the teacher. Can we say censorship? Yes, rejected. I am not sure of all the details. I just know my daughter wasn't happy. Her next choice was accepted. So, she was settling in on doing her stuff about Mrs. Rosa Parks. Abby read the book and I added some important facts that I had learned through my various readings on the Civil Rights Movement and former Justice Thurgood Marshall. Abby seemed interested.
The speeches were to be last week. Well, as fate has it, the teacher moved them. We had set up dates for our two youngest at the pediatrician based on the first date. Now, the dates were moved to this week. We received a slip from the teacher informing us of this.
Today I picked Abby up in carpool and she got settled and we drove towards home. About 5 mins into the ride or less, she lets me know to be sure to be there at 9:30 in the morning. HUH? When the first date was set, we had an appointment at the doctor for the kids. So, we moved it. Then the second date was set. We moved one of the appointments much further out, the second was tomorrow; speech date. So, then we had decided to move that appointment which was a little after 1 because 23 kids were starting speeches at 11am and each had about 3-5 mins we were told. That meant we were going to be running too close to the appointment time. We moved it again.
Now we were told that the time had moved AGAIN! It was set to be at 11:30 we were told. Now, the day before we were going to drop Abby off at school at 8 and need to be back in an hour and a half. We live 30 mins during rush hour traffic in the am from the school. That is if the beltline and traffic cooperates! So, drop off at 8, back home at 8:30 at the best, load back up at 8:50! Not to mention the extra 24 miles of driving round trip for a 3rd time in a day to the school!!! This time with two kids under 18 months no less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk about one pissed off set of parents. Me more so than my wife. My wife for whatever reasons has a MUCH higher threshold when it comes to dealing with stupid people. Perhaps it is because she is married to me. Whatever the reason, she was a tad upset, but I was pissed. See, routines for little ones are important. I made fun of them with Abby. However, with Katie and Jeb, I have seen how much a routine means to a little one's day. So, now we are faced with two little ones who will need to be there for an hour, both of which have nap times during this time. One who will need to be fed also and another who will want a snack and is NOT too keen on being in a stroller longer than say 10 minutes. That is our toddler Katie. Anxiety should have been her middle name. She has an incessant need to walk. Well, speed walk and inspect all her surroundings. And no doubt, since she also has a shyness factor around strangers, we now have missed nap time + missed snack time + anxiety + a hungry infant + shyness that will all = HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am pissed whether or not it is the teachers fault or not. I haven't got a response as to who thought up this brilliant idea. Whoever waited until the afternoon prior to the speeches to inform parents/guardians of the change in my mind is up for the AS* of the Year award! Schedules are tight for working parents too. To have something planned, at a certain time, and then change it the day before is irresponsible, rude and disrespectful along with unprofessional and non-caring. I know I am only 1 parent. However, this isn't the first time we, nor other parents have had issues with this teacher or the one prior.
Nothing is perfect. But, try to not put 23 sets of parents out. You already made changes to the schedule before. Oh, and we could have kept that Dr's appointment for tomorrow. How lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, the teacher has no kids, no spouse and no clue what life is like for those of us who do. Why should I expect anything else?
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Funk
OK, so, we were extremely lucky with Katie not having any health/sickness issues to speak of during the first little while after birth. It seems though we aren't having that luck with Jeb.
Jeb had another MD appointment last week-normal and routine-however it would seem he picked up some airborne FUNK! I mean congestion, sneezing, coughing, etc. Poor guy already has his first head cold...or so we think. With babies it is tough to gauge what the hell they have. So many things get passed around as possibilities. None of which anybody wants a kid to have.
So, as I write this I am listening to him breathe beside me in the cradle. He woke up about an hour or so ago to eat. He didn't want much to eat this time which bothers me. I worry that his funk has depleted his appetite which is usually strong. I realize he is only a little over 3 weeks old and things happen and nobody lives in a bubble. But jeez, give the guy a break already. Let's not make his "newborn" time miserable.
With his FUNK, Abby's finger and Katie having horrendous anxiety issues about sleep at night, this has turned out to be a rather rough stretch that neither momma or I were expecting.
However, I know God has this. Somewhere in that Book of Life, this is written too. I just have to learn to go with it.
Jeb had another MD appointment last week-normal and routine-however it would seem he picked up some airborne FUNK! I mean congestion, sneezing, coughing, etc. Poor guy already has his first head cold...or so we think. With babies it is tough to gauge what the hell they have. So many things get passed around as possibilities. None of which anybody wants a kid to have.
So, as I write this I am listening to him breathe beside me in the cradle. He woke up about an hour or so ago to eat. He didn't want much to eat this time which bothers me. I worry that his funk has depleted his appetite which is usually strong. I realize he is only a little over 3 weeks old and things happen and nobody lives in a bubble. But jeez, give the guy a break already. Let's not make his "newborn" time miserable.
With his FUNK, Abby's finger and Katie having horrendous anxiety issues about sleep at night, this has turned out to be a rather rough stretch that neither momma or I were expecting.
However, I know God has this. Somewhere in that Book of Life, this is written too. I just have to learn to go with it.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Ouch
So today my oldest met a stapler. No, really, she had her left index finger stapled and I had to take her to the pediatrician. One of her classmates stapled her finger. We went to the dr and were seen right away. Abby was quite scared though. I assured her it would be fast and it was. Four seconds after starting, the doc had it out.
Now, my tweeter has a hole in her nail. No shot or Rex. Just neosporin and band aids. As a dad I am really beginning to hate other people's kids. What a day.
Now, my tweeter has a hole in her nail. No shot or Rex. Just neosporin and band aids. As a dad I am really beginning to hate other people's kids. What a day.
May
If there is a month which I wished didn't exist on the calendar, it is May. I know it is full of graduations, the start of the wedding season and spring kicks into gear. Flowers are blooming, kids are outside playing more, and on those hot days the ice cream truck trolls through neighborhoods and subdivisions. For me however, May brings painful memories. Memories as a dad that I don't wish upon my 3 kids ever.
See, in May of 89' my mom died when I was a teenager. It was a horrific time. My father had left, so it was myself and my mom and occasionally my sister when she was home. That wasn't much though. She was dating a guy seriously and working at least one job and sometimes two. So, I was there with mom. She passed away on a rainy Thursday night. I know, it has been 24 years ago and I should move on. I have a brother who unless I am wrong has not been back to the grave or cemetery; ever. He doesn't believe in that kind of stuff.
I do. It is important to go and "chat". Not about dark and deep secrets. But to just talk things over. At times, ask for advice. Seek guidance. My mom is buried with her daddy. He died at a young age too. Like 32 kinda young. Mom made it longer than that and was buried the Sunday before Mothers Day. Depressing time.
Her mom also died in May. Last year. My nanny as we called her, was with me and one of my brothers in the room of my mom when she died. It sucked ass. A rainy Thursday night and you watch someone die. I decided I wasn't going last year to my nanny's funeral and I didn't. I made the point that I had carried enough caskets in my time to last a lifetime. Both grandfathers, my great-grandmother, an uncle, and as a junior pallbearer at two others. Enough already.
As May starts up I was reminded yesterday of her passing. It is a somber month. One again I wish wasn't on the calendar. I am hoping my kids don't have to experience this stuff. Death is certain. However watching death and participating in the cruel celebration of life or funeral as others call it is just a bit too much.
My oldest knows I love my mom and how great she was. She never met her. She did meet my nanny. I picked up Abby the day nanny died to just have someone to talk to. A person to remind me of the good things and memories. I don't get that with my mom being gone. And with Mothers Day coming next week I know it will be tough again.
My wife is an excellent mother. A Christian who lives a life I wish to emulate. One day perhaps I can. If a Saint there is, it is my wife. I love you Phyllis!!
See, in May of 89' my mom died when I was a teenager. It was a horrific time. My father had left, so it was myself and my mom and occasionally my sister when she was home. That wasn't much though. She was dating a guy seriously and working at least one job and sometimes two. So, I was there with mom. She passed away on a rainy Thursday night. I know, it has been 24 years ago and I should move on. I have a brother who unless I am wrong has not been back to the grave or cemetery; ever. He doesn't believe in that kind of stuff.
I do. It is important to go and "chat". Not about dark and deep secrets. But to just talk things over. At times, ask for advice. Seek guidance. My mom is buried with her daddy. He died at a young age too. Like 32 kinda young. Mom made it longer than that and was buried the Sunday before Mothers Day. Depressing time.
Her mom also died in May. Last year. My nanny as we called her, was with me and one of my brothers in the room of my mom when she died. It sucked ass. A rainy Thursday night and you watch someone die. I decided I wasn't going last year to my nanny's funeral and I didn't. I made the point that I had carried enough caskets in my time to last a lifetime. Both grandfathers, my great-grandmother, an uncle, and as a junior pallbearer at two others. Enough already.
As May starts up I was reminded yesterday of her passing. It is a somber month. One again I wish wasn't on the calendar. I am hoping my kids don't have to experience this stuff. Death is certain. However watching death and participating in the cruel celebration of life or funeral as others call it is just a bit too much.
My oldest knows I love my mom and how great she was. She never met her. She did meet my nanny. I picked up Abby the day nanny died to just have someone to talk to. A person to remind me of the good things and memories. I don't get that with my mom being gone. And with Mothers Day coming next week I know it will be tough again.
My wife is an excellent mother. A Christian who lives a life I wish to emulate. One day perhaps I can. If a Saint there is, it is my wife. I love you Phyllis!!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Settling in
Things are starting to get more back into a routine now. Well, as routine as they can be with two kids under 18 months. Heck, under 17 months!! Jeb is sleeping a bit at a time which allows momma a chance to sleep. The bad part is that I am still suffering with my schedule of sleep being up at night and trudging through the day when I don't fall asleep mid-day or so.
Abby is doing the school thing, and I am thinking she is feeling a bit left out now. So, I am going to try to do more with her. Funny, I keep finding myself saying that. It just hurts me to see her and Katie both not so keen on being able to adjust. Katie has started sushing Jeb. Yes, when he cries she will sush, as in be quiet, him. This is accompanied at times with attempts at hugs or pats on the head. I did come downstairs today to find her pulling on his hair!!! That was FUNNY!!!
The wife has a fever tonight. She has been tired, well more like exhausted, and out of sorts. I need to give her some time too whereby she can rest. That is what she needs the most of.
Summer is around the corner. About 7 or 6 weeks until Abby is home for the summer. Trying to work out some stuff for her to do too and it isn't easy. Here's hoping it gets easier!
Abby is doing the school thing, and I am thinking she is feeling a bit left out now. So, I am going to try to do more with her. Funny, I keep finding myself saying that. It just hurts me to see her and Katie both not so keen on being able to adjust. Katie has started sushing Jeb. Yes, when he cries she will sush, as in be quiet, him. This is accompanied at times with attempts at hugs or pats on the head. I did come downstairs today to find her pulling on his hair!!! That was FUNNY!!!
The wife has a fever tonight. She has been tired, well more like exhausted, and out of sorts. I need to give her some time too whereby she can rest. That is what she needs the most of.
Summer is around the corner. About 7 or 6 weeks until Abby is home for the summer. Trying to work out some stuff for her to do too and it isn't easy. Here's hoping it gets easier!
Friday, April 26, 2013
Calls of dumbness...
I know we all and I mean ALL have our flaws. I have several and several more that I am sure others know of that they have yet to mention. One thing I don't get is stupid phone calls from folks though. For instance, we have 3 kids. We get a call from the pediatric group we take our kids to today. The message, "This is &&&&& from @&#*$* calling you today about your child. Please call us back." OK, first, two kids are with us and the third was at school and they hadn't called to tell us of any emergency. That is good.
Now, we call back. We cannot get through to the office that called us so we called their main office. My wife told the receptionist person what the message said. It didn't tell us why they called, who they were calling about, etc. The lady asked my wife something along the lines of what is your child's name and dob. My wife, nicely said, which one?
Then my wife has to go through all 3 kids med records, etc. and finally the receptionist tells my wife why they called. The same reason they called 2 weeks ago and 2 weeks before that. They want our just turned 9 year old to come in for her well check. HUH?
Yes, they have called 3 times now to schedule her well check. Let's see, hmmm....the first two times we told you we'd call you when we were ready to schedule it. Right now we are so busy with the baby, running errands, carpool, other activities that trying to fit a date in for my oldest with school being all day, each day isn't easy. Along with trying to lug along 2 kids, under 18 months to a peds appt that does NOT involve them. NOT easy. Especially when the 17 month old(almost), has figured out that going to that office equates to not fun stuff.
I just wonder what goes through folks head when they make calls such as these? The well being of my child or their co-pay?
GET REAL!
Now, we call back. We cannot get through to the office that called us so we called their main office. My wife told the receptionist person what the message said. It didn't tell us why they called, who they were calling about, etc. The lady asked my wife something along the lines of what is your child's name and dob. My wife, nicely said, which one?
Then my wife has to go through all 3 kids med records, etc. and finally the receptionist tells my wife why they called. The same reason they called 2 weeks ago and 2 weeks before that. They want our just turned 9 year old to come in for her well check. HUH?
Yes, they have called 3 times now to schedule her well check. Let's see, hmmm....the first two times we told you we'd call you when we were ready to schedule it. Right now we are so busy with the baby, running errands, carpool, other activities that trying to fit a date in for my oldest with school being all day, each day isn't easy. Along with trying to lug along 2 kids, under 18 months to a peds appt that does NOT involve them. NOT easy. Especially when the 17 month old(almost), has figured out that going to that office equates to not fun stuff.
I just wonder what goes through folks head when they make calls such as these? The well being of my child or their co-pay?
GET REAL!
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